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Body Worship
02:49
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Choke me with your legs
01:38
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I remember moving a lot as a child.
The longest I had stayed somewhere was 3 years from grades 3-5.
I must have been 9 when we moved again, small flashes of memory cross my mind but nothing solid.
The inability to remember most of my childhood is probably a survival instinct.
I don’t think I want to know what I was surviving.
Living in the dark lets me train my eyes.
What I do remember is being lonely and the dry, chest-shaking coughs that would come after I had cried about it.
Maybe that’s where my desperation for connection comes from or why I feel so comfortable living alone.
I’m used to it.
There is a beast that lives in my chest.
It’s hungry, foaming mouth snapping at anyone who gets close to me. It grips them by the throat and shakes till they stop moving.
Only then do I taste the blood in my mouth.
Even if it feels like an outside force it is me, that desperate hungry dog is me.
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therewasaforesthereonce Denton, Texas
Noise from a computer.
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